Monthly Archives: September 2006

A few rules

Sharing a workshop with some serious scientists/engineers - we are always discussing some physical or mechanical theorums.

Here are a few laws to ponder (number 3 is particularly apposite):

1.Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you’ll have to pee.

2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

6. Variation Law: If you change traffic lanes the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

7. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional
to the reach.

11. Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

12. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy’s Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness, colour and cost of the carpet/rug.

15. Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

16. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.

17. Brown’s Law: If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.
18. Oliver’s Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

19. Wilson’s Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Scattering the ashes…

One of the joys of classic car restoration is the hunt for that elusive part to finish off the job.

We spent weekends away from home travelling acroos the country to pick up parts for the car – and ended up with crate loads of things that are now superfluous.

Subsequently I have found myself selling off bits to people from all over the world. I have sent parts to Canada, USA and Italy, Australia, Japan, Guildford and Liverpool.

The daft thing is, when I try to send them the cheapest way, it turns out to be impossible. I thought it would be easy to send a rearscreen to just south of Naples – I would put my wife on a plane, with the crate as baggage – no couldn’t do that. BA cargo quoted a huge amount just from airport to airport.

It turned out cheaper to use a shipping agent (who use BA) and charge door to door. Tony at Phoenix

thinks I’m some sort of Arthur Daly dealing in dodgy car parts – but has done a stirling job so far.

Although it’s a pain, selling bits and pieces like this – it does mean I meet some interesting people doing restorations of their own, and the proceeds all go back into restoring ROJ.